xxx_sar

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 04:47:08 GMT

okay so i made a new lj, i am sick of this username. so go re-add me ♥ sar

new lj___ssaarr

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 03:16:03 GMT

prom. was alright. i expected it to be fancier. the aftermath was better.
hotel w dan & kristen & gary even though we didn't really see kristen & gary all night (; haha. and then of course hanging out on saturday at buckland and all that. overall it was a good weekend, and idk, the more i spend time w dan, the more & more i love him. which is weird for me, because i get sick of guys fast, especially if i see them a lot. speaking of which, he's coming over now to sleepover again haha, so byebye!

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:06:55 GMT

scratch the redhead idea. after i graduate i'm getting extensions, and putting blonde & red underneath.
i can not stand this medium length hair anymore. god, i regret chopping it all off last year more than anything!

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 14:50:33 GMT

i'm going to go back to redhair after prom.
but i'll have lindsey do it so it doesn't fade out.

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 04:39:09 GMT

i worked my last shift ever at the children's place on saturday. foreverrrr. i'm glad i'm done there, i hated that job, and after over two years i need a change. but it was sad leaving. mayra & i cried, even michelle called to wish me luck & stuff. but i'm on to better things, like college & this job this summer. byebye tcp.
i ended up sleeping over dan's after, which meant we had three sleepovers in a row haha. we're fucking losers. but it was fun, so many kids were out on the pike (there was literally a line to get into wendys haha.) we rented strangeland too, lol, fuck, i think its scary as heck! i know dan did too, he just wanted it to be more gory haha.
today i met up with kristen & danielle at the westfarms mall around 1:30 while dan was working. my roomates are really nice (kristen, kelly, and danielle) and it was great finally meeting kristen. we're all brunettes which is funny, but likely of course. danielle left paperwork for essex at her house so we had to go get it. danielle, you most certainly are a skilled driver, lmfao. i know whenever i need rides, i can totally ask her (lol, no offense but shes a terrible driver but she knows it so its cute haha.) we sat for 5 minutes waiting for her to make a left turn out of a parking lot. haha. but thats ok she's a doll anyway. dan came to westfarms after work and met them briefly which was nice of him, then me & him went shopping at buckland (duh!) and i got a fucking hoodie from af for $12.90 (its awesome being an XS haha) and the same for a top from hollister for $9.90. it was overall a really good weekend yessss. <3

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 17:01:40 GMT

lords of dogtown was good. dan slept over ♥.
TODAY IS MY LAST DAY WORKING AT THE TRUMBULL MALL UNTIL FOREVERRRRRRRRRR. i'm not really sad though, but its cool that on my last night i'm closing with mayra who is my favorite manager ever. i've worked here for 2 1/2 years. this is going to be weird.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 11:59:37 GMT

slept over dan's last night. now i'm in first period, tired as fuck in his hoodie, wondering where the hell kristen is because we were supposed to present our video production project next period. i'll ask danielle. dan's coming over tonight and we're going to see lords of dogtown, hopefully its good because last week he dragged me to see star wars and it definately wasn't good but i knew that going into it. so my car sat at the dealership all day yesterday for nothing. i apparently don't need a brake job for another 10,000 miles and the grindingish noise the car is making is because i need new tires but they said i have a couple months to replace them. so yeah, my car sat there all day for a fucking oil change oh boy. i'll take it in on sunday or something to get new tires. i need three, but i guess i'll just buy four because then i won't have to worry about tires while i'm at school. i've gone through so many tires, ughhhh, from hydroplaning and then from justin-(the-wife-beater) slashing my tires at the mall. yuppppp. saturday is my last day of work at the mall (until i work at hollister in meriden but thats in the fall and that will be different.) if kristen doesn't show up for school i am leaving after fourth period because there will be nothing for me to do fifth in study hall. sixth is creative writing but i will just bring her in a note on monday if she asks why i wasn't there. i wonder what is going to happen with amanda today. its not her fault mrs. picarazzi is a cunt and cried over nothing. she wasn't being "insubordinate" she just wanted to talk to mrs. picarazzi about her grade. i hateeeeeee that teacher the most out of any teacher i ever had. when i babysat her daughter she told me that she hates her mother and she's only four. smart child. if amanda gets suspended i plan on writing a letter to the B House principal or whoever the ass is who suspends her. she's already not allowed back in class for NO reason: does that mean she's going to lose credit? it better not. nothing else to write about.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 02:30:23 GMT

i'm tired of sluts at my school. seriously.
i am always the topic of gossip (as well as dan) & HE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO THS. NOR DID HE EVER.
jealously is a killer, i'm telling you girls. quit while your still ahead or you'll really start hating yourselves.

Sun, 29 May 2005 18:11:55 GMT

my mom bought some kind of shaving gel that smells like baby lotion.
i smell like a goddamn black person now.
thanx mom.

Sun, 29 May 2005 05:18:28 GMT

i'm so bloated right now. ughghghhghh.
so bloated i'd be like a size 3, gross.

Sat, 28 May 2005 07:16:58 GMT

kristen sleptover last night. we were up until almost 5:00am talking (& watching infomercials) because we're extremely lame. she's a good friend though. we also went to get movies, but apparently the blockbusters around here aren't open until 1am or later. we tried shelton & then bridgeport. i brought her home this morning, & went to dan's. it was looking like a perfect day. we went to denny's for breakfast, then to hollister where i got a ton of stuff for only spending like $60 ($20 jeans, fuck yes.) but then, as we're leaving the mall and hes pulling onto the onramp for 691 in meriden, some 85 year old man in a big blue 1970-something pickup truck runs him off the road. thank god we were okay and stuff. so the guy says, in these exact words "i just wanted you to go faster." faster for what? who knows. i called the police, and the cop was a dick, probably because dan's standing there, tattoo's and pierced face w a car w a bodykit, and then i'm there, with no bra and huge sunglasses, sitting on his lap. we are obviously very bright, and team awesome. but in a nutshell, the other guy is at fault. that just like put a damper on our day though. and then that thunder tonight scared me so bad. we were sleeping and it started. i like wanted to cry, i'm soooo afraid of thunder. anyway, its 3:15am, i don't know how i am awake considering i've slept for three hours in the past two days. i'm just not tired. i'm excited about so much its honestly hard to sleep. i'm also extremely hungry, but i'm ignoring that feeling. i really hope the weather is nice on monday, because i'm sleeping over dan's sunday and i want to go to the beach on memorial day. yes yes yes. alright. bye.

Thu, 26 May 2005 04:19:52 GMT

for the record:
the grossest thing ever is when fat girls come into school wearing tight clothes with their stomachs showing. it doesn't look good, not on any of you.
and its hilarious that any of you fatfucks have the nerve to let my name come out of your mouth, let alone have something to say about me (& dan).
JEALOUS. JEALOUS. JEALOUS. thats the word that should be coming out of your mouths most of all.

Tue, 24 May 2005 03:34:54 GMT

i was just doing some thinking, and its funny.
when dan & i met, i honestly just wanted to fuck him, because he was hot. it sounds gross but i'm being honest. i know he thought the same about me anyway. so fine, we did it. but for some reason we kept hanging out? we swore we didn't want relationships, i'd just gotten out of one, and he just wasn't wanting one for whatever reason.
but now, come almost half a year later, we are together, officially since decemeber. i just think its funny how quickly feelings can change.
we've been through some bad shit together, but somehow i pulled through, took some advice from someone who is amazing, and reconciled. and its been beautiful ever since.
i love him. i love this. i love us.

the end.

Mon, 23 May 2005 02:04:14 GMT

so i slept over dans last night. but we didn't sleep. we went to some beach in old saybrook, and see, we were walking around looking for some place to sit down at 3am, but there were a lot of kids drinking and stuff. then we thought we found a spot, and i heard a seagull, as did dan. it was cawing. ONLY IT WASN'T A SEAGULL IT WAS SOME GIRL HAVING SEX WITH HER BOYFRIEND. ahahahaaa. so yeah, she sounded like a seagull and it was funny and thats all i have to say.

Sat, 21 May 2005 01:41:07 GMT

from now on when my mother speaks to me about things that do not matter but yet upset me, i'm going to do what dan has said i should do all along.
stand there, and say "yup, mmmhm" and just keep my ideas and how i feel to myself. because my eighteen year old feelings are completely useless and irrelevant in this house.

Sat, 21 May 2005 00:07:51 GMT

my mom thinks she knows best for me.
she doesn't.
i want to be happy. i am getting happier.
leave me alone, i'm doing nothing wrong.
miles are nothing. i'm 18. why are we still constantly bringing this up.
i love him, thats it. go away.

Fri, 20 May 2005 03:35:53 GMT

so today was the closing on my grandmas house. i never went there to say goodbye. i don't want to see it empty i guess. she's living in a one bedroom apartment now at my mother's work. that house was my other home, in new haven. i grew up there. i want the memories to stay there. i learned how to ride my two wheeler in her backyard. i helped her pick tomatoes in the summer, and ate grapes right off the grapevine in late september. i found kittens behind her fence and snuck them into the house. grandma tried so hard to get my mom to allow me to have one but i was allergic (and still am haha.) i helped bake christmas cookies in that kitchen. my dziadzia ( polish for grandpa) kissed me every sunday on my head in his wheelchair, seated at the head of the table, until his last day on january 17, 2002. i slept over that house nearly every weekend as a child, coaxing grandma into taking me to the toystore on sunday after church. i'd always be so well behaved in church because of it. i created crazy games by myself outside, about myself being some sort of savior to the world, running from frontyard to backyard through the gates, from unknown creatures (this mostly being due to the fact that i am an only child.) i horseyback rode my uncle joe from kitchen to living room in that house, screaming "faster!faster!" with my mother yelling, because she hated my uncle joe, and because she was afraid that 8inch fall to the ground might murder my face for life or something ridiculous along those lines. i held matthew, and then emily three years later, in that house, on that couch, in that living room. we celebrated every christmas eve in that house, until my dziadzia passed away. christmas eve used to be my favorite day of the year. i would go buy bread for my grandma on those summer days when i spent the day with her while my mother was at work. grandma would let me walk alone, past the six or seven houses to the polish corner store. i was eight or nine, and i felt so grown up holding that $5.00 bill in my fist, walking fast, looking behind me to make sure grandma wasn't watching me from the porch. but she wasn't, she never was, she saw more in me than my mother. she'd always let me keep the $2.00 change. i remember baths in her old fashioned white bathtub, covering my eyes with the washcloth because i was terrified of the shampoo. she'd let me create a bubblebath out of the shampoo by running it under the faucet, because i was allergic to bubblebath. my mother wouldn't allow this at home. i remember barbie going for swims in her oversized kitchen sink in the tiny pantry. how delicious meals tasted coming off of her ancient, olive colored gas stove. how the refrigerator never smelled very good, but it held the best foods in the world. how the cat used to scratch on the door of it for sour cream, until the day it "ran away" and never came back. (it most likely got hit by a car or something, but we don't talk about it with grandma much. she lost the cat, then dziadzia not much later. it was like the cat left because she knew he was going to.) i remember every memory, forever in my mind.
i'll miss that house. sure. but its not the house that created the memories, but rather the people in it. these memories could not have been created anywhere else though, it just wouldn't be the same. my childhood has been sold away, in a way.

Thu, 19 May 2005 20:48:27 GMT

so i'm annoyed. cuz kristens drivers ed teacher wouldn't let me stay cuz i'm not a student. bleh bleh blahhhhhh. i could teach those idiots everything! haha. anyway..andrew is living at essex too probably. which is cool, because he's one of the few guys from ths that i can actually tolerate. but idk if thats a definate, he was telling me about it 1st period today. anyway. dan might come to 1st and 2nd period tomorrow. which will be cool. but i bet he doesn't. we'll see.
IT NEEDS TO BE SATURDAY, AFTER 10PM. SERIOUSLY.

Wed, 18 May 2005 03:31:05 GMT

"ohio is for lovers" is one annoying song. i fucking hate hawthorne heights.

Tue, 17 May 2005 02:18:20 GMT

girls are in love with talking about me.
its funny how its only the girls. that says something. ha.

Mon, 16 May 2005 11:12:18 GMT

i'm so bored with nearly everything. i need a change. this high school life is so close to being over so BE OVER.

i met danielle & kelly. they're cool. we have to have lunch again when school gets out but this time with kristin too. i want to meet her bad since i'm sharing one of the bedrooms at the apt with her. yeah.

Mon, 16 May 2005 00:55:34 GMT

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Thu, 12 May 2005 21:16:50 GMT

so everyone is saying my hair looked better w the blonde, aw. i guess kristen's going to try to do it again, this time with less blonde so i don't look idiotic. lol.
thinks have been running more smoothly in my life, in the past week or whatever. not perfect, thats going to be a while. but better.
oh and dan, the "thing i had up my sleeve" was the birthday surprise that got ruined, dummy. i put that in here because i know i will forget to tell you in about five minutes.

Thu, 12 May 2005 01:07:35 GMT

so today was dan's 21st.
i didn't get to surprise him w the cake. but i still went over w it, and idk, i hope he appreciated it, because i wanted to do something nice to make him feel special.
SO DAN YOU BETTER FEEL SPECIAL OR ELSE <<<3

Wed, 11 May 2005 02:15:58 GMT

tomorrow is dan's 21st birthday. aww <<<3.
too bad we both are straightedge so 21 isn't jack shit haha.
i dyed my hair back to brown. everyone loved the blonde, and kristen did a great job, but its just not me. i don't want to have people refer to me as "that blonde girl, sar". i look better as a brunette.
work pissed me off today. they called and said i didnt need to come in. now i got like 10 hours for the whole week. thank god i'm done with this fucking job really soon. i'll miss daimeleis, nisha, and mayra, but thats it. everyone else can kiss my ass there. especially michelle, the worst manager ever. i can't wait to work with all men at the water company. men are so much easier to get along with. although i know dan isn't too psyched about it. he's hotter than any of them, so what does it matter lol. the company cars there are chevy cobalt's, that makes me laugh. pos's.
my mom just went crazy because she found 36 pairs of flipflops in the spare closet that i do not wear anymore. ughhhh. they are all crappy, mostly from old navy and some are tilt and roxy, they're only good for the beach. but shes going crazy because i said i wanted to just throw them all out. if anyone wears a size 4, 5, or 6 let me know. haha.
i have something up my sleeve. i hope its appreciated.